Zoe Griffin / party princess

Shame on you Simon Cowell – smoking is a filthy habit and I’m saddened the entertainment mogul couldn’t wait for a private moment rather than lighting up in front of the young X Factor fans.

Millions of people look up to Simon Cowell and copy what he does.

But look at how stupid he appears in this photo taken at the auditions in Manchester – it’s hard to look attractive with a fag in your hand.

His super-white teeth are going to turn yellow and he’s going to get lines by his mouth and it serves him right.

Photo: Rowen Lawrence

Poor Dannii Minogue – she just can’t compete with Cheryl Cole in the style stakes.

She did an average job of competing on the cleavage front yesterday at the X Factor auditions in Manchester, but when it comes to belted dresses Dannii looks dowdy while Cheryl looks soooo cute in her coloured number.

And what on earth is going on with her hem line? It’s all skewed.

The only consolation is she has a semi-fit man wheeling her luggage, while Cheryl’s beefcake looks mean and moody.

Dannii Minogue - what has happened to her hemline?

Cheryl Cole - short but sweet

Photos: Rowen Lawrence

There have been so many rumours ex Neighbours actress Holly Valance is in love with UK Beatbox musician Frankmusik (ake Vince Frank), so that’s the first thing I asked about when I caught him backstage at the Barclaycard Wireless Festival in London’s Hyde Park.

And he confirmed it, telling me: “It is as much of a romance as 3,000 miles of distance between us allows.

“We met last year in LA, then she came over to England to be in my music video and we’re hopefully meeting up in LA soon.

“I couldn’t believe it when she showed interest in me. She actually asked me to be in the music video and thats when we got together.”

I think Holly’s a very lucky lady as Vince’s stage show was electrifying. He moonwalked on stage AND did my favourite song, Confusion Girl, which features grime artist Tinchy Stryder and is on his out Complete Me album on 12 July. This is how amazing it is:

I’ve just been sent evidence X Factor judges Dannii Minogue and Cheryl Cole are literally competing to be ‘top’ girl at the show’s Manchester auditions.

I reckon Cheryl wins in the fashion stakes due to her sparkly silverjacket (and I am so envious of her lucious eyelashes)

But Dannii has got the better looking man with the lovely rugby player Kris Smith. Kris generously treated to her a slap up meal in Manchester last night and he is way sexier than Cashley Cole.

Cheryl Cole - sexy and sparkly

Danni Minogue - second best

Kris Smith - sexiest of the lot

Photos: Rowen Lawrence

Last week I was sent a photo of skates shaped like mini Vauxhall Corsa cars in aid of the Village Underground Roller Disco that Sophie Ellis Bextor is DJ-ing at.

I wasn’t sure if they were genuine skates but this video shows that you can actually use them to get around. How cool!

(The song is by Florence and the Machine and has been remixed by Jamie T) Even cooler!

Untitled from Zoe Griffin on Vimeo.

Poor Brad Pitt – his motorcycle broke down in LA  just as the photographers were chasing him.

Brad simply got off his bike, posed for the paps and didn’t moan at all

Then he ended up getting a lift with one of the photographers!

I wish he would break down here – I’d be more than willing to give him a lift!

I hoped Amy  Winehouse was conquering her alcohol addiction and getting healthy in St Lucia, but sadly it appears she has fallen off the wagon again – big style.

The rehab star has now been banned from her own hotels pool as hotel staff are concerned for her safety.

Staff have found Amy on a number of occasions passed out on the grass close to pool and feared she would drown if she went for a dip after a marathon drinking session.

I bet the tourist board in St Lucia are wishing she’d chosen somewhere different to set up home!

David and Victoria Beckham are celebrating there 10th wedding anniversary in style.

David is whisking Victoria of to the beautiful Necker Island, which is owned by Richard Branson and is totally private.

Aww we love Becks he’s so sweet and it’s nice for him and Victoria to have some real alone time.

Can’t believe it’s been ten years since that amazing OTT wedding.

Congratualtions David and Victoria!

I have soooo much fish knowledge now – my brain is full of facts about crabs, starfish and toads.

Tip of the day: starfish are the strangest creatures. If they lose a leg they grow it back. And that lost leg can grow more legs so it becomes a clone of the original starfish!

There is no cabbies comment tonight because I have decided to escape the Showbiz party scene for one night.

I was invited to Henley but I had a far cooler option – staying the whole night in an aquarium and sleeping surrounded by fishes and crabs.

When I asked this crabbie who the most famous person he had in his aquarium, he said Tina Tuna.